It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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