I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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