he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
