so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
