CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize