the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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