Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
