you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize