so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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