im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
