My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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