We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
