There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
