Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
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His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize