It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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