Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So squirting runs in the family.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
