Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
