East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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