It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
