its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
