i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
