To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's blow job season.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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