And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
