So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
