That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You ate ashes out of my bong
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
