Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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