Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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