My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Couch. On fire.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
