we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
