i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
the liver wants what the liver wants
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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