Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize