Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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