uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
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You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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