his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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