Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
