Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
