i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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