So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
