Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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