you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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