Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
