So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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