Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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