Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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