Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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