hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
did i walk over a car last night?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize