it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
