I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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