Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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