Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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