Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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