Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
