Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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