You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She even gives head with a lisp.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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