I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
